Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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