she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
