Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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