dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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