I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
