Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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