gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
