i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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