Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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