I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
