she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
