D3 body, D1 cock
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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