I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
