He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize