I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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