Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize