I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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