I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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