i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
