i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
