I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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