you would pick up someone in the library
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
