Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
