so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
