This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
