How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
