oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
