I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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