Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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