you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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