You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
