Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
