Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize