Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
