and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
