Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
