I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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