Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
