I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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