David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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