i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
