What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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