I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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