saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
