When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
