i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
