Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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