Well apparently he's into motor boating.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
