Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize