I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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