am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
