Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
