I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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