Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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