we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
