Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
