I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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