Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
