So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
