Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
