Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
