He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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