Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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