I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
