No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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