well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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