My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
